What I learned from my 4 year old son about succeeding in life

It is often difficult to force yourself to learn something that you are not good at. After all, who likes to fail?

This weekend my son forced me to learn more than just how to learn how to ice-walk (it would be pushing the boundaries of reality to call what I did skating) within 20 minutes. Had it not been for my son's fearlessness towards learning a new skill, I would have been left at the sidelines applauding him and wondering how he happened to pick new skills up so quickly. Well now I have to wonder no more as I now have an insight as to how kids pick up skills so quickly.

 I grudgingly strapped on my skates as my son looked at me expectantly. I must say that I was more than a little apprehensive about what I was going to do - as I had only attempted to skate once before. The person who took me skating last time warned me that it is very difficult to learn how to skate. I remember her telling me that it took her at least 2-3 times before she learned how to stand on the ice. Keeping her advice in mind I remember holding on to the edge of the ice rink. Yet, I can still remember spending more time "chilling" my backside than I remember standing on my feet. After that, I can safely state that I have avoided any further attempts to learn how to skate on ice.

Drawing on previous memories, I held on to the sides of the rink even harder this time as I waited for my son to strap up and join me on the ice. Although I was happy not to fall on the ice in the first few minutes, I was not looking forward to watching my son join me on the ice as I expected to see him fall and hurt himself. I felt even worse when I realized that I would be powerless to help him out when he did fall and hurt himself.

To my astonishment my son literally jumped into the rink and zoomed over to the friendly looking seal sleds. I was amazed to see the kind of stunts he was able to perform on the ice despite this being the first time he was on the ice. Apparently no one had told him that this was supposed to be a difficult thing to do.

Unburdened by the knowledge that skating was a difficult thing to do the first time around, my son was fearless on the ice. Did he always stay on his feet? No not really. He fell many times in his enthusiasm to perform "cool tricks". However, he didn't let that bog him down as he just got back on his feet in no time and performed his "cool tricks" again.

Seeing him zoom around I felt ashamed of myself. Here I was - quivering on the ice while my son was thoroughly enjoying himself. So I decided to just forget about what I thought I knew about skating and tried to become like my four year old. I left the safety of the sides of the ice rink and struggled over to the extra seals that I used as a crutch to stand. I must say that it was difficult to get rid of the thought of failure and crashing into the ice completely - but I gritted my teeth and decided that I was determined not to stop trying.

Slowly, to my delight, I was able to traverse the length and width of the rink using my friendly crutch without falling. As I tasted success, I was emboldened to try more by ridding myself of the crutch. By this time I was enjoying myself so much now that I didn't realize that I was actually able to walk/skate around the rink without the aid of a crutch. The thought of failure had pretty much deserted me completely as the picture below will attest to.

When I walked out of the rink I realized that I had learned a lot more than figuring out the art of moving on ice. I learned that in order to succeed at any task it is vital to:

• Be fearless and not worry too much about failure before attempting your hand (or feet) at a task

• Set small, easily achievable targets that can be accomplished easily. After all success is the biggest motivator

• Be proud of your small successes and take confidence from them

• Always be open to unlearn what you know about something and start from scratch again

• Believe in yourself and your abilities regardless of what others tell you

• (And perhaps most importantly) Be prepared to learn from anyone - even if it happens to be your 4 year old son

Combating the urge to procrastinate

What's that joke about Procrastination?

I'll tell you later...

I am not sure how many times I have thought about writing this article over the past week. Numerous times I login to blogger - just to get distracted by something that I would normally never bother with when I really do have the time to do it.

When I started blogging last month, I started with a few goals:

1. Create an external brand for myself with my posts
2. Find an outlet for my thoughts on various issues that I may not be able to express verbally
3. Become a better writer

It's amazing to note how interesting it is to read about the vicissitudes of the real estate market in Nigeria when I have to create a test strategy. Or how about that game of solitaire that you just cannot stop playing when you need to start filing your taxes? Or perhaps that urge to watch that episode on farming techniques when you have to start research to write a paper that is due in a week?

Although I always regret wasting time as I approach the deadline, it does not prevent me from repeating the same mistake the next time around. However, as I pat myself on the back for sitting down and actually writing this blog, I must say that I had a couple of aha moments that I would like to pen down before I forget.

So how does one really tackle this problem?

I have found that the only way to overcome the temptation to procrastinate is to actually sit down and start your work. The first step towards completing any task should be to actually note what exactly needs to be done to complete a task.

As I mentioned in an earlier post of mine using the algorithmic approach really helps to combat procrastination.

Step 1:
Write down what needs to be done and why it is important.

In my case - I needed to post on my blog because I wanted to improve my brand, improve my writing and channel my thoughts coherently.

Step 2:
Break down the task into small steps that can be accomplished with minimal work. It is important to make the first few steps tiny steps as there is no better motivator than success.

My first step was to write a title for this post. My second was to write whatever came to mind. I didn't worry about making it readable. I just wanted to dump everything I was thinking about into words.

Next I edited what I wrote. It didn't take me long to do these first few steps - and by the time I did I was involved in my work.

Step 3:
Get rid of all distractions

This is very important. As I mentioned earlier - anything and everything feels interesting compared to what you have to do at that moment. So make sure that you focus on the task at hand by removing all potential distractions.

For example - Do you randomly start browsing when you are supposed to be looking up material? Get something like Self-Control to block websites that tend to distract you. Check out this article for other good tools that you can use to control your online distractions.

Step 4:
Do not multi-task

This may seem simliar to the point above - however I believe it merits a step of its own. Recently I read an article that talked about how a Harvard professor realized that he could complete his tasks better by devoting his complete attention to the task at hand by getting rid of all distractions - such as answering email or answering telephone calls. Human beings are apparently not wired to multi-task - so why bother?

Step 5:
Start working

Now that you know what needs to be done and have blocked all distractions - get cracking. Nothing helps you get a task done - like actually getting started on it. It took me 10 mins flat to complete this article although I spent almost an hour trying to get the title and the first paragraph done.

I must say that writing this post was a cathartic experience for me. Now that I have completed this, I want to write more - another day...