What I learned from my 4 year old son about succeeding in life

It is often difficult to force yourself to learn something that you are not good at. After all, who likes to fail?

This weekend my son forced me to learn more than just how to learn how to ice-walk (it would be pushing the boundaries of reality to call what I did skating) within 20 minutes. Had it not been for my son's fearlessness towards learning a new skill, I would have been left at the sidelines applauding him and wondering how he happened to pick new skills up so quickly. Well now I have to wonder no more as I now have an insight as to how kids pick up skills so quickly.

 I grudgingly strapped on my skates as my son looked at me expectantly. I must say that I was more than a little apprehensive about what I was going to do - as I had only attempted to skate once before. The person who took me skating last time warned me that it is very difficult to learn how to skate. I remember her telling me that it took her at least 2-3 times before she learned how to stand on the ice. Keeping her advice in mind I remember holding on to the edge of the ice rink. Yet, I can still remember spending more time "chilling" my backside than I remember standing on my feet. After that, I can safely state that I have avoided any further attempts to learn how to skate on ice.

Drawing on previous memories, I held on to the sides of the rink even harder this time as I waited for my son to strap up and join me on the ice. Although I was happy not to fall on the ice in the first few minutes, I was not looking forward to watching my son join me on the ice as I expected to see him fall and hurt himself. I felt even worse when I realized that I would be powerless to help him out when he did fall and hurt himself.

To my astonishment my son literally jumped into the rink and zoomed over to the friendly looking seal sleds. I was amazed to see the kind of stunts he was able to perform on the ice despite this being the first time he was on the ice. Apparently no one had told him that this was supposed to be a difficult thing to do.

Unburdened by the knowledge that skating was a difficult thing to do the first time around, my son was fearless on the ice. Did he always stay on his feet? No not really. He fell many times in his enthusiasm to perform "cool tricks". However, he didn't let that bog him down as he just got back on his feet in no time and performed his "cool tricks" again.

Seeing him zoom around I felt ashamed of myself. Here I was - quivering on the ice while my son was thoroughly enjoying himself. So I decided to just forget about what I thought I knew about skating and tried to become like my four year old. I left the safety of the sides of the ice rink and struggled over to the extra seals that I used as a crutch to stand. I must say that it was difficult to get rid of the thought of failure and crashing into the ice completely - but I gritted my teeth and decided that I was determined not to stop trying.

Slowly, to my delight, I was able to traverse the length and width of the rink using my friendly crutch without falling. As I tasted success, I was emboldened to try more by ridding myself of the crutch. By this time I was enjoying myself so much now that I didn't realize that I was actually able to walk/skate around the rink without the aid of a crutch. The thought of failure had pretty much deserted me completely as the picture below will attest to.

When I walked out of the rink I realized that I had learned a lot more than figuring out the art of moving on ice. I learned that in order to succeed at any task it is vital to:

• Be fearless and not worry too much about failure before attempting your hand (or feet) at a task

• Set small, easily achievable targets that can be accomplished easily. After all success is the biggest motivator

• Be proud of your small successes and take confidence from them

• Always be open to unlearn what you know about something and start from scratch again

• Believe in yourself and your abilities regardless of what others tell you

• (And perhaps most importantly) Be prepared to learn from anyone - even if it happens to be your 4 year old son

Combating the urge to procrastinate

What's that joke about Procrastination?

I'll tell you later...

I am not sure how many times I have thought about writing this article over the past week. Numerous times I login to blogger - just to get distracted by something that I would normally never bother with when I really do have the time to do it.

When I started blogging last month, I started with a few goals:

1. Create an external brand for myself with my posts
2. Find an outlet for my thoughts on various issues that I may not be able to express verbally
3. Become a better writer

It's amazing to note how interesting it is to read about the vicissitudes of the real estate market in Nigeria when I have to create a test strategy. Or how about that game of solitaire that you just cannot stop playing when you need to start filing your taxes? Or perhaps that urge to watch that episode on farming techniques when you have to start research to write a paper that is due in a week?

Although I always regret wasting time as I approach the deadline, it does not prevent me from repeating the same mistake the next time around. However, as I pat myself on the back for sitting down and actually writing this blog, I must say that I had a couple of aha moments that I would like to pen down before I forget.

So how does one really tackle this problem?

I have found that the only way to overcome the temptation to procrastinate is to actually sit down and start your work. The first step towards completing any task should be to actually note what exactly needs to be done to complete a task.

As I mentioned in an earlier post of mine using the algorithmic approach really helps to combat procrastination.

Step 1:
Write down what needs to be done and why it is important.

In my case - I needed to post on my blog because I wanted to improve my brand, improve my writing and channel my thoughts coherently.

Step 2:
Break down the task into small steps that can be accomplished with minimal work. It is important to make the first few steps tiny steps as there is no better motivator than success.

My first step was to write a title for this post. My second was to write whatever came to mind. I didn't worry about making it readable. I just wanted to dump everything I was thinking about into words.

Next I edited what I wrote. It didn't take me long to do these first few steps - and by the time I did I was involved in my work.

Step 3:
Get rid of all distractions

This is very important. As I mentioned earlier - anything and everything feels interesting compared to what you have to do at that moment. So make sure that you focus on the task at hand by removing all potential distractions.

For example - Do you randomly start browsing when you are supposed to be looking up material? Get something like Self-Control to block websites that tend to distract you. Check out this article for other good tools that you can use to control your online distractions.

Step 4:
Do not multi-task

This may seem simliar to the point above - however I believe it merits a step of its own. Recently I read an article that talked about how a Harvard professor realized that he could complete his tasks better by devoting his complete attention to the task at hand by getting rid of all distractions - such as answering email or answering telephone calls. Human beings are apparently not wired to multi-task - so why bother?

Step 5:
Start working

Now that you know what needs to be done and have blocked all distractions - get cracking. Nothing helps you get a task done - like actually getting started on it. It took me 10 mins flat to complete this article although I spent almost an hour trying to get the title and the first paragraph done.

I must say that writing this post was a cathartic experience for me. Now that I have completed this, I want to write more - another day...

How international experiences makes you stand apart from your competition

I thought I knew what globalization was until my company sent me to Bangalore to supervise Quality Assurance (QA) for their Indian consultants: I found myself simultaneously coordinating activities during the day between Mumbai and Bangalore; reporting to my managers in Boston at night; receiving feedback; relaying it to the consultants; and generally liaising between the widely spread teams. I found myself working across time zones all from the comfort of my home. It was then that I truly realized how globalization of the business world had impacted our work lives. Talking with colleagues and relatives employed in other companies, I found similar situations occurring everywhere. With organizations operating and collaborating worldwide simultaneously, I recognized the necessity of communicating across cultures and languages and that I was in the unique position to take advantage of these opportunities.

An international experience does not just mean working in other countries (although that would possibly the best). It could also mean interacting with people from different countries by travelling abroad, learning a new language or, interacting with people from different countries through blogs, forums and other online mediums.

Adaptability
Having lived in countries completely disparate in their culture and language to my own, I have developed the skills to adapt and turn the environment to my advantage. When you live in a different country, you are forced out of your comfort zone. When a person is forced to learn new languages and customs, even something simple such as finding a good place to eat becomes challenging. Although this is daunting at first, overcoming this adversity gives one the ability to face new challenges and overcome them. I may not have all the answers upfront, however I am prepared to deal with whatever comes my way.

Communication
My multilingual skills give me the ability to engage others in their comfort zone and gain their cooperation. Although I would not claim to be an expert linguist, having the skills to have a basic conversation with others makes a big impact on the people you are dealing with. 

For example - One of my current colleagues is a Sri Lankan. Although I cannot communicate with him in Sinhala, having lived in Sri Lanka I was able to make a relationship with him as I am able to speak a few words of Sinhala.

Although it is possible to become multilingual without travelling, there is nothing like hands-on experience. Even if you do not have the opportunity to travel abroad, the internet has made the world a smaller place. There are tons of resources that will allow a person to communicate with others from other parts of the world.

Cultural awareness
Having lived in the US for a very long time, I have an advantage over my counterparts in India when it comes to creating relationships with the people in the US. This is because not only am I able to communicate better with my clients and colleagues in the US, I am also able to connect with them culturally. 

For example - I understand that Americans are usually passionate about one of the following things: Team sports, their pets and/or their hobbies. They normally do not like to talk too much about their personal lives or their families (at least to someone they do not know). So on a new project, I often try to engage with my clients/counterparts on a more personal basis by talking about any of the above.

Indians on the other hand care more about their jobs and their titles, their families and movies or cricket. 

In order to be more successful in today's global village, understanding the way others tick is the key to success.

Empathy
This is a key skill that one acquires only when they have the opportunity to interact with people from different parts of the world. When you are managing people, it is often easy to come up with grand strategies and diktats that need to be executed. However, one needs to keep in mind the sensitivities of the people that will be affected by them. The key to empathy is to understand that all people are different and yet, they are all ultimately people at the end of the day.

Mixing with people from other cultures gives one an idea behind the challenges faced by others. This makes a person more tolerant when dealing with others for they can understand a situation from the others point of view.

A great example of this is the way a lot of Eastern managers have learned to empathize with their employees after spending a stint in the West. I have seen a sea change in the attitudes of managers who spend a while abroad and come back more humble, humane and, understanding.

Similarly, managers from the West who spend time in the East learn about how to get things done more at the least cost. The same managers also begin to understand the challenges faced by their employees from countries with less developed infrastructure and empathize with their day to day troubles.

Learning new and better ways to approach problems
There is never just one way to tackle a problem. However, it is often difficult to think about different approaches to solve problems when you are used to a certain line of thought. Meeting other people from different cultures and seeing how they fix similar problems provides a wonderful learning experience.

It is amazing to see how people from different parts of the world approach some of the most complex problems in the world. The Indians, for example, in particular are fond of the jugaad approach.

International experiences also makes a person more confident about taking risks in their lives. The very act of moving out of a person's comfort zone to confront the unknown makes a person more capable of handling the unexpected.

In summary, it is quite obvious that there are tremendous advantages one gains from international experiences. Even if it is not possible for a person to get a job in another country, it is imperative to travel to different parts of the world and gain the skills required to engage with others. Since the world today is shrinking at a tremendous pace, if one does not have the ability or the desire to communicate with others from different cultures and countries, they will not be able to succeed.

Don't know how to solve problems? Need Good Grades? Read this...

Although computer science students and alums may not design experiments to look for the annihilation vector resulting from dark matter collisions in space, our working methods are identical to the untrained eye (other than perhaps being slouched over computer/laptop in addition to staring at a whiteboard). We may not get the coolest jobs - like earning millions of dollars for hitting a ball with a stick or eking sounds out of dead animal skin - but we sure learn how to solve problems.

"How" you ask? It's elementary my dear reader... using the power of algorithms and design patterns. Disclaimer: I am not claiming that Computer Science is the only field that employs algorithms and design patterns - but computer science students are drilled to use these techniques right from the beginning unlike most other fields I have come across.


So what are algorithms and design patterns? In plain speak - an algorithm is a set of repeatable steps used to solve a problem (the key word here is repeatable) and design patterns are collections of algorithms used on a set of similar problems. A cookbook would be a good example of a design pattern and an individual recipe in the cookbook would be a algorithm.

Algorithms are very powerful tools. They are meant to teach even the dumbest of all creations - the CPU - to execute tasks that are impossible for the human mind to fathom. Algorithms allow us to take something as complicated as weather modeling and reduce it to a set of repeatable steps that can be used around the world. IBM's Watson beat Ken Jennings in Jeapordy using design patterns and algorithms. Similarly Deep Blue presided over Kasparov at chess the same way. These computers basically drew upon a huge number of patterns that looked similar to the way a current challenge was posed to them. These patterns were then narrowed down to a set of steps that allowed the computer to identify the correct answer and solve the problem. Of course, it helps that computers are able to do these tasks in a matter of nanoseconds.

So what is the first step towards solving a problem using the algorithmic approach? The first would be find the relevant cookbook - or design pattern that would help create actionable steps.

For example -
Problem: I want to create a design for a single family house with one balcony
Design Pattern: Find a blueprint for another single family house with one balcony. This can then be customized to what you would like it to look like, and other requirements and limitations. You wouldn't however need to figure out how to get started if you had a template that you could draw upon.

We could even obtain a set of actions that need to be completed (in broad terms) to construct the house from the previous house's . So, now that we have an actionable solution - how about we create the algorithm for it:

Buy some land
Find an architect
Customize another house's blueprint for our house
Find a contractor
Get all the permits required for the house
Build the house

This algorithm can be further broken down into sub-tasks (sub-algorithms) that may be different from the previous house's algorithm.

The point I am making here is that this design pattern and algorithm helped me create an actionable plan to build a house without possibly knowing anything about how to do so earlier. Most problems can be faced using this method. This is because using an algorithmic approach to solve problems will at worst give you a checklist to complete any task - perhaps the most foolproof way to get anything done

A good example of me using this to my advantage was when I studied for my Financial Accounting final. I didn't do too well on the mid-term because I was confused on what I need to do and how I should approach a subject I had never studied before. However, for the final, I drew upon my experience and created an action plan from my past experiences of taking exams.

I then created a series of steps that would help me learn the course material and help me prepare for my exam. When I created the action plan I was able to track my progress which allowed me to manage my time better as well. Thanks to the action plan I was very well prepared for my final and obtained one of the top marks in the class.

Leadership lessons learned from Julius Caesar

Julius Caesar is considered to be one of the greatest military commanders of all time. Although his brilliance as a general was essential to his numerous victories (he was undefeated in combat), his grand strategies would have come to naught if his generals, centurions and rank soldiers didn't trust him implicitly and execute his strategies. After all, you can have the most brilliant ideas in the world and yet, without a buy in from your key stakeholders - they are useless. In this post I will attempt to relate some of the leadership lessons I have learned from the great Julius Caesar's life.

1. Connecting with your team - It is rumored that Caesar knew the names of all the men who fought for him (something he learned from his great general uncle Gaius Marius). This personal connection Caesar had with his soldiers made them love him as they were used to their generals treating them as commodities.

You don't have to be your colleagues' best friend. However having a personal connection to the people you work with is always a good thing.

2. Presentation is key - In Colleen McCullough's excellent series on the late Roman Republic, you will note that she often mentions that great speakers such as Caesar and Cornelius Sulla dressed immaculately and are very mindful about their posture when delivering speeches. In the senate they adorned their togas immaculately and in front of his armies, Caesar and Sulla always delivered their speeches dressed in full military regalia. Caesar, in particular, was an ardent student of the ancient art of rhetoric despite already being considered an expert.

Understanding how to persuade and present your case to your colleagues and upper-management is key. Often people judge your capabilities based on your ability to present yourself. After all, everyone knows the importance of first impressions.

3. Lead from the front - Although Caesar was not known for actually fighting in battles as a general (he did win a civic crown for valor when he was young), he was always close to the front line constantly communicating and encouraging his troops. His troops knew that he was in as much danger as they were during a battle. This raised the morale as his troops as they knew that their performances were being evaluated directly by Caesar himself. More importantly, doing so allowed Caesar to identify vulnerabilities in his battle formations and take immediate decisions to correct them before the vulnerabilities became insurmountable problems.

If you want something done, make sure you are always leading/following the execution of the problem. It is not good enough just to define the problem and implementation process. You need to drive the process to completion as well.

4. Communication is key - It is said that one of the most important reasons for the Roman legions' unchallenged superiority in battle was that they were the most informed armies. Every centurion (man in charge of a unit of 100 soldiers) was rumored to know as much about the battle plan as the general himself. Caesar had learned from his uncle the great general Gauis Marius that battles were won by the centurions of the army - the men who make the important calls during the battle than the generals themselves.

The centurions of the Roman legions are comparable to the team leads and middle managers of today. If you want a grand strategy to work, make sure everyone understands what needs to be done and help them drive it like you would yourself. Everyone should know how and where they fit in.

5. Publicize your accomplishments to create a brand for yourself - The reason that Julius Caesar is remembered even today is because people knew what he accomplished. In addition to being a superb orator he was also a very good writer. Caesar penned thrilling accounts of his accomplishments (Commentarii de Bello Gallico; Commentarii de Bello Civis) that were widely read (they are still used to teach Latin nowadays). It is almost as if he anticipated a famous quote of Winston Churchill, "History will treat me very kindly because I intend to write it".

Unless you publicize your accomplishments no one will know what you are capable of. Conscious and smart self-marketing is an important component of success.


6. Do not expect others to do what you would not be willing to do - Roman legions were required to kill army deserters by publicly flogging and beheading them. It didn't matter if the deserter was a friend or relative - they had to be killed.  As you can imagine this was perhaps one of the most difficult tasks a soldier was required to do. Julius Caesar promised that he would personally kill every tenth deserter to be executed.

Julius Caesar did not consider himself to be above doing the dirty work he expected from his soldiers. He led from the front even when difficult tasks needed to be done.

MBA@UNC: The application process

Here is the application process for those of you that are interested in applying to the MBA@UNC:

0. Take the GMAT. UNC is a tough program to get into so, make sure you get a decent score (at least 680+). There are tons of online resources that will help you prepare. I used PagalGuy.com and Gmatclub.com a lot when I was studying for the GMAT.

Note: If you do not have a degree from an English speaking country such as the US/UK or, a degree from an Indian university, then you may be required to do TOEFL/IELTS as well to demonstrate English proficiency

1. Checkout the admissions criteria and program costs. Register yourself and start your online application here. Set yourself a goal as to when you will be done with the application. Remember to set aside a good chunk of your time for the essays.

Admissions calendar for 2013-14

2. Fill in your personal and professional details.

3. Get strong personal recommendations from people who know you well and who will be willing to take the time for you to fill out the forms. MBA@UNC requires 3 professional recommendations. It is usually prudent to get one from your immediate supervisor and 2 others from colleagues who know you well. Make sure that the people who fill out these forms know you well enough to be able to answer the questions on the recommendation form. If there is anything in particular you would like them to mention in your recommendation make sure you talk to them about it beforehand.

4. Complete your essays (take your time here). During this process really try to think about what the questions are asking you and address those questions with examples. For example - if you are asked about your strengths - provide meaningful examples of why a particular characteristic is a strength for you. Do ensure that you get others to proofread your essays. MBA@UNC requires 3 essays (1 optional).

5. Send your exam scores and university transcripts to the university. Contact the admissions department for the address to send these to. The transcripts should go directly from your university/college - so if you have received them from your university, make sure that they are in a sealed envelope with your universities seal on the envelope.

6. Submit the application. You have to submit a non-refundable application fee of US $145 along with the application. Make sure that you keep the admissions counselor abreast of what you have been doing throughout this entire process so that they can confirm receipt of the various components of the application.

7. Prepare for your interview - Although you may not be sure about getting invited to interview, make sure that you prepare thoroughly for it. If you do get an interview, you will be interviewed via video conference. Dress up for the interview as you would if you were to attend it in person. Go through the typical list of MBA interview questions and know you application well. Pagalguy and Gmatclub are good starting points for the kind of interview questions people get asked. Prepare an elevator pitch (~2-3 minutes) about yourself.

8. If you make it through the interview you will be offered a place @ Kenan-Flagler. Take a moment to congratulate yourself for a job well done! You will get an admissions packet from the admissions office. Acceptance is confirmed by digitally signing the acceptance form and mailing it back to the admissions counselor. You are required to pay a non-refundable deposit of $1,500 to hold your place. This amount will be credited towards your first quarter's tuition.

If you are eligible for a fellowship you will automatically be enrolled for it. You may have to pay your non-refundable deposit before you get any information about receiving the fellowship.

Why did I want an MBA?

If you plan on doing an MBA - the first thing that you will be asked by pretty much everyone (friends, colleagues, the neighborhood watchman and, most importantly the school that you are trying to get an admit into) is, why you want to do the MBA.

So why did I want to do an MBA? Why did I want to go back to school when I am doing reasonably well in my career at the moment. I have a family depending on me and I am not exactly in my mid-twenties where I can bravely take any decisions without worrying about any of the resulting consequences. Although it's nice to say that one should not worry about money it's pretty difficult to dismiss it.

Moreover, I would need to spend at least 2 years of my life studying - not to mention take huge loans - with the hope of making a much better income than I would otherwise. Also did I really need an MBA to succeed in my career? Do I really slog for the next couple of years while I could perhaps show the same dedication to work and succeed? Could I afford a full time MBA since I already had a family - I mean not just in terms of money, but also in terms of having to relocate without my family (I would miss two years of my son's life)!

Even assuming I wanted an MBA I had no clue as to what kind of work would I need to do to get into a program of repute? I would need to study for my GMAT again - all Indian colleges of repute require you to have a score valid for two years and it had been three years since I had last done mine. Should I go for an Indian college which would be relatively cheaper (with limited international visibility) or try for an international university? Would I want to do a part time program where I could work and allay some of the costs of the program by working or a full time program where I could get a well recognized degree with the caveat of it being part time.

All these questions bogged me down for the better part of two years. Ultimately I decided that if I wanted to make any brave decisions regarding my career I had better make them in the next five years. The only way I was going to be able to do so was if I did something that could make me ready for any job - technical/non-technical. I believe that I already had the technical angle covered - however there was the whole management/business angle. Although I have reached the lower/mid management ladder without the aid of any business degree - it will take ages for me to grow quickly. The only way to prove yourself in a new role is if you are offered it - and of course nobody will unless you have something to show that you are capable of doing so. So I decided that I had to an MBA although I had no clue as to where I could apply.

So along came the MBA@UNC. My sister had heard about this course first. The MBA@UNC contacted her back in 2011 (when they started) and asked her if she would like to apply. Unfortunately as she did not have enough work experience she was unable to apply for it. However, the program seemed to be a perfect fit for me. The best part about this course is that it is the same (not like or similar to) as a full time on-campus MBA at the Kenan-Flagler Business School in Chapel Hill - one of the top business schools in the world. The only difference between the traditional two year course and this is that the content for this course is delivered online. Although I was skeptical I figured that not only would I be able to get an MBA, I could continue working as well. This meant that not only would I be able to offset some of the tuition costs, I would more importantly remain in the job market while I studied. I was also excited about the fact that I would be able to apply and use everything I learned in class at work immediately. The clincher though was the fact that I could continue to live with my family without having to uproot and move elsewhere.

Given this I figured I'd give the program a shot and started the application process.

To be continued....

Torn between relief and regret!

To say that the last few weeks of my life have been pretty packed, could qualify to be the understatement of the year! Not only did I have quizzes, finals, and, homework due but I was also in charge of a project that had just completed development and needed to be turned over our client for acceptance testing. Due to this, not only did I have to work longer than normal hours at the office but, I was also in a constant dilemma  about when I could  eke out time to study for my exams.

Just to make things more interesting, I found out the day before the weekend of my first exam that I needed to work through the weekend to ensure that our project was defect (at least show-stopper) free. I have to admit that I didn't see much of my bedroom over the past one week. Little wonder that I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I submitted my last final for this quarter today!

Although it may seem that I am whinging here, I would be lying if didn't tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed being a full time employee and a full time MBA student over the past two months. Despite getting about 4 hours of sleep on average (with a standard error of 3 hours) over the past 40 days (you can figure out the std deviation and confidence intervals for this from the information I have provided), I have to say that opting to set my nose to the grindstone intentionally has been brilliant experience so far.

I took two courses this quarter - Analytical Tools and Financial Accounting. I couldn't claim my academics have been stellar but, I have learned a lot of practical lessons from my classes.  These classes have given me a ton of new ideas to use at my job! For example, I am planning to evaluate how well we are estimating time and effort on our projects currently by converting old project plans into activity-on diagrams (more details later) and modeling our effort estimates on the normal/triangular/binomial distribution. At the same time, I am really looking forward to consuming bid data for past projects to see if I can discern a pattern wrt our wins and losses. This should allow me to gather some metrics on the kind of projects we bid for (our cilents' sizes and the industries that they are in). Once the legwork for collecting the data is done, I hope to create a regression model so that can be extended to forecast the likelihood of winning/losing future projects based on current data.

Given that just a couple of classes have made such a difference to the way I perceive work now, I can't wait to get started with my classes next quarter (although I am thrilled that I don't have any exams/homework due for the next few weeks).

This is my first post on this blog. Although I started this when I got in, I just have not made the effort to post anything on here. Regardless, better late than never! In the next few posts coming up shortly I intend to go back to how and when I decided to apply for this course and what I did to get in to the MBA@UNC.